I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I'd be sitting down to write this post, especially not after withdrawing all my full manuscripts a little over a month ago. (We'll get to that!) I was all set to self publish my book in early November. I had it up for pre-order on Amazon, listed on Goodreads, and I even sent out a cover reveal to my newsletter. Then, almost exactly 7 months after entering the query trenches, I got the email that changed everything.
Let me start from the beginning.
Round 1
I'd just wrapped my third round of self-edits on my debut psychological thriller after working with my fantastic beta readers. I also had a professionally edited query letter and extremely high hopes that with all my care and preparation, I would find my dream literary agent. So, with my heart on my sleeve, I officially entered the "query trenches" on January 8th, 2024.
I was off to a great start. I had an outstanding manuscript request from an agent I pitched at a conference back in October. When I sent her my pages, she enthusiastically replied that she couldn't wait to dive in. Then I got another full manuscript request and a partial in my very first week. I was over the moon, so I sent out 80 more queries, which turned out to be a huge mistake.
There was one very important thing all the requests I'd gotten up to that point had in common. The agents who replied did not ask for any sample pages along with the query letter. Needless to say, I did not get any more requests, because in reality, my manuscript was NOT query ready.
After my 50th straight rejection, as well as rejections on the few full manuscripts I still had out, I decided to pause and work on polishing my book.
Stats
Queries sent: 83
Rejections: 80
Full Requests: 2
Partial Requests: 1
Request rate: 4%
Round 2
I spent the next two months working on a major rewrite. Then I worked with 2 editors and a paid beta reader to assess what still needed to be fixed before re-entering the trenches. After getting some truly eye-opening feedback and busting my butt on a couple more rounds of edits, I finally felt ready to re-enter the trenches. But I didn't want to make the same mistakes as last time and query too many agents too soon. So, I sent out a preliminary batch of 20 at the end of March. Then, I waited.
The rejections rolled in first which hurt my confidence. I was preparing to withdraw the few queries I still had out there and start another round of edits, but then, on April 1st, I had 3 full requests in a single day! I was so beyond excited at this point that my hard work was paying off. With confirmation that my submission materials were where they needed to be, I decided it was time to send out my next batch of queries.
**I also had more 3 outstanding full requests at this point from in-person pitches I made at conferences and/or social media, which I waited to send until my edits were done.
Stats
Queries sent: 22
Rejections: 17
Full Requests: 6**
Partial Requests: 0
Request rate: 23%
Round 3
I re-entered the query trenches in full force on April 18th. By this time I had already received a form rejection on one of the full manuscripts I'd sent out at the beginning of the month. I'd also been ghosted by a small press who told me they we interested in my submission and would get back to me in 4 weeks after their team finished their read through. That deadline came and went, and I never heard back even after a nudge.
Both these things seriously wounded my confidence, but at that point I still had 3 full requests floating around a pretty decent list of agents I could still query. So, I sent out another huge batch. I figured since I had such a good request rate in the last round, I could expect at least a couple of new requests to roll in. But, to my dismay, that was not the case.
I didn't get a single full manuscript request.
However, I did get a few partial requests from the Washington Writers Conference, but I left feeling pretty disappointed, since it was the live pitching event I'd ever walked away from with no full requests at all. (Remember this, it will be important later.)
Stats
Queries sent: 104
Rejections: 101
Full Requests: 0
Partial Requests: 3
Request rate: 3%
Decision to Self Publish
At this point, I'd been in the query trenches for about 6 months. I was following all the advice about querying to the letter (no pun intended), and I thought once I'd found the winning combination of submission materials, I would finally start seeing more requests come through. I couldn't fathom how I went from a 23% request rate down to 3% with the exact same query letter and pages. I'd somehow ended up in an even worse place than when I started with my unpolished manuscript.
To make matters worse, I was getting very little feedback. Almost all my rejections were forms (including on fulls) and the very very very few personalized responses were about elements that were purely subjective.
I was in a bad place mentally and emotionally. The rollercoaster of hope and disappointment was becoming too much for me, and at that point, I didn't have it in me to wait and hear back on the 4 full manuscripts I still had out. On May 27th, I decided to withdraw them from consideration and pursue self publishing instead.
The moment those emails were sent, I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. I eagerly dove into the self publishing process and set my release date for November 4, 2024. I had a pre-order set up on Amazon, an author page on Goodreads, and even a cover ready for my book when I suddenly got an email that changed everything.
The Last Full Request
Remember the Washington Writers Conference from round 3? The one where I got a few partial requests? Well, one of those agents reached back out after reading my first 50 pages to request my full manuscript. This happened the day after I made the decision to self publish. So, I ignored the request.
A week later, on June 6th, I got a follow up from that agency that literally changed everything. They saw my announcement on Twitter about self publishing, and reached out personally to see if I would still consider sending over my manuscript. The junior agent (who was reaching out on behalf of the senior agent I originally submitted to) told me she loved my first 50 pages and really wanted to read the rest of the book if I was still weighing my options.
First of all, I was extremely flattered that an agent liked my pages enough to actually pursue me. It was a complete change from the silence and form rejections I was accustomed to. Second of all, I figured I had nothing to lose. The worst case scenario was another rejection (which I fully expected), and I might even get some feedback I could use to make my book better before my publication date.
Another month passed. Over the 4th of July weekend, I was busy preparing my book for ARC readers, physical pre-orders, and searching for audiobook narrators. Once the weekend was over, I was going to pass the point of no return. My book would be up on NetGalley, and therefore, untouchable by traditional publishing. I was feeling good about my decision at that point. I'd managed to generate some decent interest in my book on TikTok, and I even had a few preorders coming in.
Then, exactly one month after sending off my last full manuscript, I got an email on July 5th requesting a call with the literary agent who had my full manuscript.
The Offer
My offer call happened the following Monday, July 8th. At that point, I still wasn't sure if I was getting an offer or an R&R. I was mostly in shock that I was getting on a call at all. When I started querying (and even before, if I'm being honest), I'd imagined what it would be like. But I'd stopped having those fantasies after being rejected 200 times.
Once, an agent at a conference even told me that it was unlikely my book would ever get picked up. Not because they read it and thought it was bad--but because I touched on themes and ideas in my writing that are apparently considered "too risky" for a debut author in my genre.
So when I got on that call and heard the words "I love your book" from an actual literary agent, I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. (Technically two, since I was on a call with both a junior and senior agent!) After asking as many questions as I could squeeze into our short 30-minutes together, I officially had an offer. They encouraged me to do my due diligence and notify other agents. They also sent over a preliminary submission list, two clients for me to reach out to for references, and a sample contract to look over.
Because I withdrew my other full manuscripts, I was in a bit of a unique position since I didn't really have any other agents to notify. I still had a dozen unanswered queries that hadn't gone past the 8 week mark, so I notified those agents. I also realized I had one full request I had forgotten to withdraw, so I nudged them as well.
The only one I heard back from was the agent with my full. She did get back to me within the deadline with a lovely step aside and some feedback, so I was free and clear to accept my original offer. I sent the email letting them know on July 18th, and signed my contract the next day.
So, with that being said, I am proud to say that I am officially repped by Victress Literary and couldn't be happier about it!
Final Thoughts
This is the part where most authors will tell you not to give up, and to persist through the disappointment and rejection of the query trenches. I feel very unqualified to make this assertion since I quite literally gave up 6 months into querying my first book, which in the grand scheme of things is not a very long time.
Here's what I can say. Believe in your book, and keep believing even when no one else does. Do the work. Seek out critical eyes. Be ruthless about crafting the best damn novel you possibly can. Then, do everything in your power to get it out into the world.
I can't promise that your chips will fall the same way as mine did. But I can say with certainty that your story is important and your readers are out there.
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